Growing Pains in Becoming a Leader

I noticed growing pains as I transitioned from a do-er to a thinker - otherwise known as a leader.

The growing pains manifested as my frustration that other people weren't stepping up to the plate in terms of

• seeing things that needed to be done and doing them instead of waiting to be asked
• doing things without asking for permission
• thinking through the consequences of their actions
• understanding the impact of their work on other people in the organization
• figuring out how to work with other people
• creating a plan for their work
• owning the organization instead of just their individual silo

and myriad similar ways of relieving me of the pressure of having to always be present to direct, answer questions, solve problems, resolve conflict, strategize, and generally be on top of everything.

I have clients who are experiencing the same frustration, especially with someone they hired early on in their tenure - who just isn't meeting expectations.

I applaud this situation, uncomfortable as it is, because it indicates that the person is stepping into the leadership role with both feet.  I applaud it because the person is finally ready to share the organization, finally ready to let other people do things, finally ready to let go of control of every little thing that goes on.  And I applaud it because the person is now enough of a leader to want more leaders around in the organization.

That person they hired completely met expectations when they joined the organization.  What's changed is the expectations.

I always wanted people to grow, and seek to become leaders. I count many such people among my former colleagues and employees, including a few Executive Directors of non-profits.  Yet there also were those people who either weren't cut out to be leaders or just didn't want that responsibility.

I learned that it is kinder and more beneficial to the organization to help them leave.  I called it managing people out of a job.  It was pretty simple: redefine the expectations of the job, based on the changed organizational and environmental circumstances.  Discuss the new expectations with the person, explaining the rationale and what they now would be called to do.  Wait and see what they want to do.  If someone wanted to grow, I gave them training and support and coaching - that included some tough talk and direct feedback.  If not, they left with their heads held high.  It's not their fault the job changed!

Then I could use the new job description to hire someone who could meet the current job expectations, and assume the leadership responsibilities I needed to share.

My discomfort and frustration was a wonderful sign that I had grown as had my organization.  We were raising more money, delivering more food, helping more people.  With that growth came an increase in staff and a shift in my responsibilities.  It was when my expanded responsibilities conflicted with my old expectations - of myself and my team - that the growing pains emerged to tell me it was time to make a change.